I have never felt so alive
and so dead
simultaneously.
The fact that you still
have this power
over me
is sickening.
Muttering, breathing your
heavy breath
into me
you're next to me
on top of me
hitting me
and shoving me into book cases
your curling smile and curdled expressions
sick heart, undeserved beating --
Bleating my pain at
the hands of your insanity.
You pause, only to snapshot
my own twisted face
you quicken your pace
engrossed in your rage...
You needed your bleating, bleeding scapegoat
your proverbial sacrificial lamb
your personal whipping boy
As you hypocritically use your God
to justify your beatings.
I'm so alone - I'm back there
in that disturbing place
trapped - is this what you wanted?
Forever suffering at your maddened hands
My heart can't take it,
I am through.
Who now will take your shots
since my delayed passing?
Who will be there to stifle cries,
catch tears in darkened corners,
And still attempt to be perfect for you?
All around you don't yet see through,
but I will always know your true
festering insides
barely human
yet still so fragile.
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